Content warning disclaimer: Please note that this page contains some brief discussion of experiences of abuse and ableism.

"Who, or what, exactly is Pepper?"

Pepper (they/them) is a very shy and rather reclusive buggy-foxy creature that has an adoration for naturalism, plush fox toys, bugs and foxes (other than themself, of course), pet-monster type media (such as Pokemon and Digimon) and a particular fascination for virtual pet toys. So much so, in fact, that Pepper has a special "sixth sense" that allows them to detect when a virtual pet nearby has been abandoned or broken, so they can rush to the scene and rescue it!

Though they live in a seemingly distant realm, Pepper often has to venture out of it for variable reasons, where they encounter many things that are strange and distressing to them, but will also find many endearing and mysterious items of facscination too.

Pepper is my primarily my sona and serves as a visual projection of me being a hybrid arthropod/silver-morph red fox therian or otherkin; I consider this a fairly literal representation of myself. In a way, Pepper is a response to the many years worth of struggles I have had (and often still do) with experiences of alienation and ableism, as well as the ensuing trauma related to these experiences of being abused, especially in the context of being an autistic individual. Pepper is simultaneously also an unabashed celebration of my dearest special interests and hyperfixations, as well as the simply unparalleled feelings of euphoria that come with being so deeply immersed in them.

Pepper is as aforementioned a fairly direct representation of how I see myself as a hybrid bugkin and foxkin. As such, I very much regard them as something of an extension of myself.

Okay, but what is Pepper supposed to be?

Pepper is a silver-morph (melanistic) red fox (Vulpes vulpes), with various arthropods (primarily ectoparasitic insects and arachnids) living on and inside their body, with the same consciousness between spread equally amongst both the bugs and the fox- the latter being the "mothership", if you will. It is worth noting that Pepper can both shapeshift into different forms, albeit not always able to completely conceal certain parts of their bugfox body; certain forms that are a little more out of Pepper's comfort zone (such as animals other than foxes or terrestrial arthropods) will often fail to conceal Pepper's fox ears or tail completely. Pepper is also able to distort and extend the length of their body, seemingly almost indefinitely, often distorting into elongated, tubular forms when they are happy or relaxed. Scutigeromorph-like appendages and paired beetle elytra and hindwings sometimes emerge from their thick coat. Sometimes, Pepper may even tuck their fox legs into their fur and attain a worm-like form!

Pepper's coat is quite thick, even much the same with their summer coat (much to their chagrin, albeit). Within it live the aforementioned symbiotic bugs, as well as a number of mycelial networks running through it. During thunderstorms, sometimes peculiar mushrooms will grow from their fur. The mushrooms eventually detach from the substrate of Pepper's fur, gaining leg-like appendages which they use to propel themselves towards an unknown location that no living being has ever seen.

It is also worth noting that Pepper is an androgynous bugfox critter and as such is a non-binary being; they are neither a vixen or a dog, but something beyond the confines of gender binary!

Where did Pepper come from?

They hatched from a bugfox egg!

Though the above is true too, Pepper was originally an entity distinct from myself. The first piece I ever produced of Pepper, the one that would eventually become my sona, was produced in early January of 2021 (pictured above). At the time of drawing the piece, I was dealing with a lot of acute feelings of angst, much of which stemming from my own profound trauma issues, as well as perennial feelings of alienation and loneliness I was experiencing especially at that time.

At that juncture, I was still in the earlier stages of to learn how to begin unmasking so much of myself heavily. It was something I had to do for years to appease certain individuals at the time and attempt to survive an actively hostile and abusive living situation, which I had been forced to do for a period of quite some time. I was forced by my abusers to purport myself as something I was not for many years and was frequently actively discouraged from embracing my special interests; I was unsurprisingly profoundly miserable and perennially distressed as a result of this (something I am certain all of us who are autistic can attest to, masking can is so often distressing or even soul-destroying). In the time after I escaped that situation and was no longer expected to appease my abusers, I was starting to gradually learn more about myself as a result. With an increasingly clearer headspace, I was quietly beginning to question my gender (I started to realise I was in fact not actually cis) and was also albeit more reluctant to embrace being a therian, even though I was definitely aware that I was and had been one for more or less my whole existence (even in the years prior to learning about otherkin culture, which I think a lot of other therians could also attest to).

With all of this in mind, the drawing of this fox entity was as cathartic outlet for many of these feelings and I remember sketching and inking it all in one sitting; I felt a new and unprecedented connection to this monstrous-looking fox I had just drawn. I kept drawing them more in the months (and indeed years) that followed, finding they continued to be a cathartic outlet for many of the feelings of alienation, anger and fear that I so often felt (and can very much do this day in some capacity); I also have found making art of Pepper has on a similar note been a great way of expressing my love for my dearest special interests and hyperfixations.

Similarly, drawing Pepper did in turn also serve as a way of exploring and coming to terms with my aspects of my identity, especially my gender as an non-binary (with xenogender traits) being, as well as of course realising that I am a therian (or more specifically, a bugfoxkin!). I ended up naming them "Pepper" as I thought that would be a cute and befitting name for a silver or melanistic morph red fox! It also just felt fitting, in a way that I struggle to articulate.

The precise point at which I began using Pepper as my sona was when I ended up taking part in Hourly Comic Day in 2021 (as a fun little exercise) and decided to draw myself as them and...to use the cliche phrase, the rest is history.

Regardless, I think whilst other factors have helped me along in unmasking and allowing myself to be what I know I am, creating and drawing Pepper has helped a lot with figuring out my identity and helped me feel more comfortable in my own being.

Some miscellaneous facts about Pepper!!

• Pepper has quite a sweet tooth, and enjoys foraging from raspberry bushes especially, as well as eating from beetle jelly pots! They also have a habit of using their teeth to strip away tree bark and feed on sap.
• On each of their outer hindlegs, Pepper has a marking resembling a Tamagotchi fused with the cephalothorax of a tick. Not even Pepper knows why they are there but they're very fond of having them!
• Pepper's body is sometimes haunted by the ghosts of ectoparasitic bugs that got lost on the way to the boundless moist flesh and blood sphere in the Ixodida Afterlife. Though Pepper doesn't really know how to help them, they're sometimes happy to chat with them.
• Much like their real-world counterpart, Pepper loves collecting plushes of foxes! They never go to sleep in their bugfox den without at least one to snuggle up with.
• Their favourite Pokemon include Eevee (their all-time favourite!), Zorua, Heracross, Ariados, Ninjask, Vulpix, Shedinja, Fennekin and Volcarona.
• Likewise, their favourite Digimon include Tentomon (again, their all-time favourite!), Kyubimon, Numemon, Renamon, Garurumon, Diaboromon, Kabuterimon, Kuwagamon, HerculesKabuterimon and Okuwamon.
• Though they often shapeshift to blend in with others and out of profound shyness, Pepper will remain in their true bugfox form around the few other beings they are the most fond of, namely their friends.
• Speaking of shapeshifting, there are certain forms that Pepper is incapable of assuming at all, such as the appearance of a human.
• Pepper has very peculiar eyes, not at all like those typical of red foxes (or any mammal for that matter), as they are much more akin to superposition compound eyes of insects such as certain moths. Their "pupils" are actually pseudopupils, perhaps most similar to those of a praying mantis!
• Pepper likes to paint with whatever they can find in terms of pigments, though because they are a bugfox and do not have hands like humans, they will paint using their paws and Scutigeromorph leg-like appendages concealed within their thick coat!
• Pepper does not actually "speak", but rather makes a range of vulpine and stridulation-like noises to communicate. Despite not speaking any kind of coherent language, any beings Pepper coverses with seem to understand them with some degree of nuance (perhaps akin to how Glep from Smiling Friends communicates with the other characters in the show).